Thanks everybody. I'm glad you all understand that I don't WANT to have a disease, but I desperately need to know what's wrong with me. I need to try and stay positive, at least until I visit the new neuro (which will make number 4).

The first neuro dropped me after my stroke dx (I think he was scared of legal action), the hospital neuro doesn't take my insurance, the neuro I see now is the one who keeps pushing psych meds.

I don't take them, but that's because I feel like it's a cop out. Almost like he wants me to be so zombied out that I ignore my health. Plus, the only thing making me depressed is the lack of diagnosis.

You all don't know how much I needed these kind words today!