swingwing,

It will be helpful if you could tell us more about your brother.
How old is he?
How long has he had a drinking problem and when did he start drinking heavily?
What sports did he play in school?
What activities has he done that can cause injuries of any kind?
Has he had any surgeries with general anesthesia?
What is his trade?
What kind of a student was he? Good grades or just average?
Was/is he intelligent? Intelligent people have the hardest time with cognitive struggles.
What state does he live in?

You mentioned SSDI Has he been approved for SSDI?
SSDI includes Medicare health coverage.

As for discussing these issues with him, It is not a productive effort unless you understand a few things. First, the injured brain will struggle severely to process complex sentences. You need to talk like he is a 4 year old. Simple sentences with only two possible responses. Abstract reasoning is very weak in an injured brain so try to stay with simple concepts.

You also need to wait for him to respond to a simple sentence before you add more comments. Otherwise, it is like trying to wash your face with a firehose. Too much verbal information will cause him to overload and quickly become defensive. The explosions may follow.

If you can help him learn to process and make decisions about simple issues, it will give him a start.

You need to understand the issue of "digit span." This is the number of different items the brain can hold and process at the same time. A 1 year old child will usually have a digit span of 1. A 2 year old will have a digit span of 2. This follow age up to about 8 years old. Some people will continue to increase their digit span into the teens.

For example, a one year old may get stuck on NO. At 2, they may understand No and Yes.

His injured brain likely has a very low digit span at the present time. It takes rehab effort to develop a greater digit span. Poor memory functions add to the struggles with digit span.

So, when you talk to him, consider that his brain simply can not process very many concepts in one sentence.

This should be a start for you and your family to begin to understand him.

There is no way you can push or force him to do anything. The rigid thinking (stubbornness) of TBI will prevent him from letting go of the idea he has. he will struggle to change his mind once he has made a stand.

A better way to talk with him is by asking questions. Help me understand you, is a good way to get him to open up.

I am dead serious about the possibility that he needs to be in a locked memory care facility. His out-patient therapists may be able to help you understand this issue. If his outbursts get violent, he needs to be protected from himself and others need to be protected from him. Your parents should not be trying to care for him. Often, family has a greater struggle communicating with the injured person. Skilled counselors will do much better.

btw, What does swingwing relate to? Were you a Tomcat pilot?