:eek I so understand you, I really do. I know about no insurance, and being shoved down the line when you are sick. I lost all two generations saved for, and now my home is going to go too. Can't even afford the insurance to drive. I had a career, money in the bank, a home and a life. all was removed, because I got sick. Being sick should not be a reason why, all is taken from us. This after 30 years of work I ask myself? That rage I so understand. I was misdiagnosed, most likely because of mediare/medicaid and the doc. not wanting to do the MRI. so I suffered for 7 years. Right now, I am the same as you but with different medical issues. I lost family members too, got betrayed over a trust. sometimes I am so low, I can't climb out of the depression. Please keep coming back here as I do, seek us out as you have been doing. Keep expressing yourself, and if you can, pray. Get to a quiet place, alone, just with you and God, and try. find your center of calm. Rage just increases our levels of bad things in our heads as I have found out. Try to reach a place of calm just for yourself. I am here Cass to listen anytime you want. I come back here to NT and try to folllow those on the site who can lead by example and offer their strength to our suffering. I hang on for dear life sometimes. I am right now, as I face a biggie or two or three in my own life. You are not alone cass, don't give up, just come back here, and know you are not alone in suffering. I will keep you in my thoughts this day, as I face my own issues. You will be with me in my prayers. We both have alot of issues, and keep coming back here for help. I care. ginnie