As someone who's been there done that... I'm just gonna throw in here the fact that he may not even have the capacity to realize that he's not following your arguments.

Looking back, the best way I can describe my experience is that my brain could only hold one tiny thought at a time. Most of the time, my one thought was, "I have to keep going." I could only function within that one thought; everything I did or said was related to it.

To keep going in a conversation, one must give signs of understanding. It never entered my brain that I was nodding and responding to people when I had NO IDEA what they were actually saying. It was simply proper protocol, what I HAD to do to support the one thought contained in my brain - keep going.

I think this one thought played a large part in my refusal to admit my problems. To keep going, I could not afford to get ill or experience poor health. I could not add the emotional baggage of dealing with such an injury. I could not afford the mental effort required to process my injury. While these were not conscious thoughts, subconsciously, I realized that such an effort would require everything in me.

Add to this my inability to process and remember anything in general, and you have someone who was genuinely convinced that I was ok. Adamantly convinced. Not faking it. Stubbornly resistant to anyone else's point of view.

All of this is not to scold you - you sound genuinely caring of your brother. Kudos to you! My recovery continues to teach me how hard my injury was on the poor unfortunate folks around me.

However, it is to say - your brother is, in all probability, not trying to make your life difficult. It's probably safe to say he is thoroughly convinced of his stance and completely bewildered by yours. While you are truly and painfully getting singed by the fire of his injury, he is residing within its actual midst. Both of you are suffering.

Please give him the benefit of the doubt in these areas. He needs that.

Btw, I would also second the motion that you and your family need not feel like you have to "go it alone" in your efforts to help him. You are NOT failing him to shift the responsibility onto those who have more ability to deal with this.

I realize that the emotional content of my post may come across as harsh. I don't intend it that way at all!! I cry as I read your posts and am reminded once again of what I put my loved ones through. You are amazing in your evident love and concern for your brother!

I just can't pass up the opportunity to tell you that it is highly unlikely that your brother is being hard to get along with intentionally!