Quote:
Originally Posted by katie71083
As someone who's been there done that... I'm just gonna throw in here the fact that he may not even have the capacity to realize that he's not following your arguments.
Looking back, the best way I can describe my experience is that my brain could only hold one tiny thought at a time. Most of the time, my one thought was, "I have to keep going." I could only function within that one thought; everything I did or said was related to it.
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Hi Katie, thanks for this honest and really invaluable reply. I feel as though I am treading water, trying to keep from total exhaustion while supporting my own family, while also trying to tow my own brother behind me, unsure I can even help him anymore. I get stabbed in the heart when I think about what has become of his life, and it is driven deeper by that helpless sense of being unable to help him. I know he would never give up on me in this situation, but these brain injuries are unlike anything I've ever encountered.
When you said, "I have to keep going" I got tears in my eyes. That's what my brother seems to be doing. It's like his life crashed and burned yet he does not know it. He keeps moving forward on the momentum he had, but he is singed and smouldering and limping and slowing down. We are all staring at him in horror, recognizing his wounds, but he continues on this march as if he is not damaged. It is agony to watch him struggle to be who was when his brain won't let him, especially around his child.
I still don't know how to hope. I am fairly accepting of the fact that there is no digital backup of my brother prior to this TBI that one day is just going to come back online. He was damaged in ways I don't fully understand.
Is he just going to call me up one day after a series of TBI-induced personal disasters, finally recognizing his problems and finally asking for help?