Hey, ((((((NowItAll)))))),



I just went back over your other messages so I could get some idea of what's going on with you.

First of all, the epileptic 'thingy' -- I'd be concerned about transient ischemic attacks, especially since your blood pressure is not well-regulated. Work with your doctor(s) to get your blood pressure under control.

There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with showing emotions and feelings in your face and in your speech. Speaking from personal experience, the worse thing for you would be to hold all this stuff in.

I have a suggestion. If you're concerned about getting "all emotional" and teary-eyed when you're trying to be calm and business-like in order to advocate clearly for your child -- it might be because you're not talking enough FEELINGS and EMOTIONS with people who can really understand what you're facing. There are good Child Neurology groups and Austism groups here and on BrainTalk. I saw that you posted a few times in the Autism board -- but mostly in a supportive role. Try asking for some support yourself and getting some support with this burden that you're carrying.

It's hard -- beyond hard -- to have to be the STRONG ONE who handles anything and everything, yet never has time to BREATHE and to FEEL.

It sounds like you're going through a real stressful period now. Try to take some time to do small things for yourself that will help you feel better and feel calmer: definitely get that blood pressure under control, drink tea out of real china cups, buy yourself some flowers, sit on the living room floor with your child and have a picnic, sit on the back steps and watch the stars and the moon after dark.

Everything is not supposed to be rigid and hard and difficult all the time. There are a lot of people here and on BrainTalk that share a lot of the same difficulties that you're going through -- ask for help and support in addition to giving help and support. Enjoy the beautiful things in this world. Enjoy your child. And BREATHE.

BIG HUGS.

Barb