Hi,
I met Mike after work, instead of him coming right here, figured since she was still sleeping, I didn't want him to walk into any confrontation when my mom woke up.
Last night she was fine, (although when I came home she had wet the bed, she took off her diaper. I must do more laundry than a laundramat!) Well w/o Scotch she is fine. I made her supper and changed the bed. Gave her - her meds. Mike was here, so that too, puts her on her best behavior. She doesn't like people to see her drunk. I do plan on going, I am just nervous about the entire situation, even though I will only be gone Saturday and returning on Sunday and only 2 hours away.

I will see when and what she say's when she brings it up. That's all I can do at the moment.

At least today I feel more pain free, I had to take 3 percocet during the course of the day yesterday due to the pain in my back and neck. I hate to complain, but lifting her just does me in. So, I was real tired the entire day and even when Mike and I met and came back here.

I still plan on calling Adult Protective Services, although last time I did that, they said I was the one that was being mentally,abused, manipulated, etc. and that they wanted to help me get out of the situation, yet I talked to my mom and thought things were going to really work out, and they did for awhile.

I try so hard, being a caregiver or whatever they call it, taking care of a loved one, is no easy job.

I also did something positive for myself. I am making arrangements to go back to school, a college here that has a 9 month program for a Vet Asst. I hope to in Sept. if I can get some financial aide. It's only M-F 8am to 1pm, which would work well for me. I am looking into other places here too, since there are loads of colleges here.

Today I am supposed to meet my girlfriend (this afternoon) so maybe get a few hours of pool time in, it relaxes me just laying there looking at the mountains. The weather is so nice. I enjoy my alone time, what I do get of it.

Oh, and I do take my mom places, when she will go. But, she needs to join Sr. Citizens and be active and make her own friends.

Thank you all for being soooooooooooooooo supportive. I almost didn't take my meds last night, because I was so upset about everything, it was almost like Okay I will get back at her. Yet, I did take them.

I'll get through this somehow, it helps so much just to write it out to you all.

It just seems with me, one thing after another. Her being in the hospital for a year, then the assault on me by my ex, and court court court with him, then her drinking binges, then the mace incident. I could sure use a night away.

My female dog is on Pepto for now, the Vet will come next Thursday, if this doesn't work, I have to get the store brand of Zantax. I pray it isn't anything serious. She seems fine, just throws up her dinner late at night or the next morning. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, I ranted enough. Thanks for listening. My anxiety is at a all time high. My depression isn't too good either. It's a vicious circle with the BP. I am trying my hardest to keep my cool and it together.

Lots of hugs to all, Nikko