There were times I should have gone to the ER, back when I was undermedicated, but I was stubborn and simply suffered through it. If you have the right meds on hand, there should be no need for ER visits unless you've suffered a new injury. I'm not claiming I don't ever have short periods of high level pain, but, I have the meds on hand that will react faster than I can get to an ER. --Which is what sounds like what you were faced with. I chose an IR med that I can take sublingually (with my docs approval) and this can make the difference between a few minutes of pain or a half hour+. regarding relatives, the time to discuss it is when you're feeling well. Everyone needs to respect your decisions about when you need to go to the ER. They need to understand that, that is not an unusual circumstance (I'm assuming) for you. Frankly, I hide when my pain starts to escalate. Others can't help. I need quiet and breathing deeply-meditation helps! I excuse myself and return when my pain is back to a manageable level.

Unless they spend extended periods of time with you, they likely just won't get it, in all likelihood. As you learn what helps keep your pain from escalating, this will hopefully be less of an issue... good luck!