Kim,

Sorry to hear of your bad day, especially on your birthday. I understand your need to vent.

Regarding your stepmom's comment, I don't think it was directed at you like you suggested. From how you described the day, it sounds more like your stepmom was saying, "I don't want you coming back until I don't have to be subjected to you limitations. I don't want to be put in the position of needing to make accommodations for your condition."

I am sorry you have to deal with this kind of attitude. Maybe your stepmom needs to watch the "You Look Great" YouTube video series. In fact, those extended family members who were there will benefit from watching it, too.

I bet your boyfriend will be a bit more proactive after this event. But, you should discuss this with him to arrange the protocol. Something like: When he is concerned by an event, he pulls you aside for a private conversation to ask if you can handle it. Or, if you are concerned, you pull him aside. Together, you two decide if the activity/event is too risky. If you decide it is, he makes the explanation for you. It would be better to not put the load on his shoulders alone to act. He needs to know that you are ready for him to step in and speak up.

And, remember that your extended family and other social contacts do not understand your condition. Sometimes, there might be an opportunity to have a teaching moment where you can explain the struggles of someone with PCS. When people learn a bit, it can empower them to be compassionate. Most people will not react negatively. Those that do will expose themselves as the jerks they are and you can take steps to protect yourself from their attitudes.

If you need some tips for how to explain the struggles, let me know and I will assign some brain cells to the need.

Well, time for me to got get some Tylenol. My head ache is just getting worse.

My best to you.