Thinking of the pork slabs I have ever seen on beaches in Speedo, and that is all I have ever noted , I surely understand your point Fiona! First I ever saw one, it was in a pool in Berlin..... I looked up from laps, and yup, there was Herr Beermeister, who had obviously had many more than he ever needed who came proudly around as the "lifeguard" and I was at first thinking Ewwww. Then it dawned on me.... such a lifeguard was actually perfect, for if he dove in to save someone, all water would instantly evacuate the pool, or he would merely float, and be a human log onto which someone in trouble might grasp. Still the Ewwww factor was a bit much.

People who could usually do such an item justice are wearing the big baggy beach shorts and playing volleyball.

Yup,
Mark56