Greetings all, this is my first post on this forum, I was happy to find it. It's tough not having an outlet as I'm sure others are aware.

When I was a child I was diagnosed and treated for Hodgkins Lymphoma, I was given 6 months of chemotherapy and radiation. It's amazing that something that can save your life can also completely screw it up as well, as now I'm suffering from Chemotherapy Induced Peripheral Neuropathy (CIPN) in both my legs. My neurologist at the time described it as quite possibly the worst case of CIPN he'd ever seen. It convinced him to prescribe me Oxycontin for it, so I figure it had to be worse than my body was telling me.

In short, with this condition, unless I'm managing it with pain medication (as nothing else at this point in time has even put a dent in it) I can not function in any shape or form. I can't hold a job, and as such it becomes more difficult to pay for a doctor to get the medication I need to control this condition, hence, the problems compound each other. Without the medicine I can't hold a job, and without a job, I can't get the meds I need.

Several people have suggested I apply for SSI, and I'm a little hesitant. There are a couple of reasons. Firstly, I don't really like the idea of SSI, because it feels like, I don't know, giving up? If that makes any sense. On one hand I'm open to it, on the other I'm not. It's confusing. I can still walk, I can still move, so I guess I feel like maybe I'm taking away from people who legitimately need SSI. I don't know. Secondly, is I live in Oklahoma, and it's notoriously difficult to get SSI here.

So before I even start the process, I would like to get some opinions on whether or not I should even attempt to do so. Any advice when doing so would also be appreciated.

~HD