Narcissist people are nothing but toxic to your mental health. It’s even worse when they were once a really good friend and helped when suicidal.

My article http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread165127.html I put on this web site a couple of months ago is really how I am. And the ironic part is I wrote this article knowing that I would send it to this person hopping that they would understand me better and we could be a family. But not only did she make me feel bad by saying she did not read it, but also tried to manipulate me to saying that I haven’t changed a bit, my life is still pathetic, and that I needed to come around more often (the place of hell I call it now). I had mania after this for a couple of days which is why I wrote stay away from narcissistic people. But after reading about narcissistic personality more in death the better I felt.

I got out of being suicidal because of a thing, and it helped me stay away from this person. After in recovery stages I had a sense that this person helped fuel my suicide tendencies, but it took four and a half years for me to learn and know the meaning of what a narcissistic personality is. Once I learned about it and had everything this person said to me in a document, I put the pieces to gather to position her as a narcissist. Once a year for the last four years I gave this person a chance and each time I was burned. Each time I would go to this house I had that queasy feeling in my stomach, because this was the place where I lived in while I was suicidal.

Every time I would be doing great (note that the first year out of it I never saw this person), and then I would go over and then boom my mania was spiked each time. It only last for a day or two, because each time I have no depression.

If I never discovered the new music genera and did not commit suicide then I would have kept on with the same old life, because it was both the right thing (for other people) and the most comfortable, and I thought good things would come. Boy was I wrong; the new music gave me everything I needed to see what the big picture was in life and how people are.

The sad part was that when we were done seeing each other, each time I would go back to my old ways and write her a long letter basically apologizing for not seeing her and the kids. Now I finally see that she is in the wrong, and always has been. I will never forget, but I have forgave, however she still has not learned herself so it’s impossible to continue with this person. Life is too short to feel mania for a couple of days a year.

I was depressed and something was missing from my life before this person. But the mania started and suicide thoughts after I met this person. But the old music did not help me one bit. Where this new music genera just not only saved my life, but my insanity. And now I can read people for what they are, and have a much better understanding that the most loving people in your life can be evil.

Instead of wanting to commit suicide, I want to save my money and move far away from this person. But I can’t because this person is the mom of my 6 year old goddaughter and a 4 year old nephew that I care for a lot. I’m feeling great again, but I have the mentality that I’ll never see her again, but I know that’s unattainable. So what’s a person to do?