HI,
Ask him to let you attend his appointments.
Also ask for a signed release to be able to talk to his caregivers.
I hope the psychiatrist (pdoc) tapers him off ritalin. That medication is used after the person is relatively stable.
Get copies of
Bipolar for Dummies for him and you and your husband.
http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disord.../dp/0764584510
It explains much of what you need to know.
The next time you feel that you are doing a "watch" you need to call 911 or drive him to an ER so that he can be evaluated by a psychiatrist who can decide to admit him.
Family member are not trained in those matters.
Some times this organization can help family members:
www.nami.org
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seems he does not know real from non-real.....how do we respond to that? What do we say? I do not feel it is healthy to "pretend" a long with him - is that wrong of me? We do not show anger or frustration, but we do sometimes have to tag team with each other as it sometimes takes a step away and a few deep breaths to continue listening when you know this person looks like him, but is not talking like the son that you raised.
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The psychiatrist can help with the delusional thinking. For now, do not push him to face what is real and what is not real. It is not your job do that. More importantly, it is greatly upsetting to him. Find ways to keep him calm.
Keep stimuli low.
Does he have siblings in the house? Keep them safe while he is going through medication adjustments.
M