I wonder if I can wander in and let everyone know that I am doing... "ok".

I am still hurting deaply and missing Ashley more & more everyday.

Yesterday was really hard as I am so used to texting all of my older nieces and wishing them happy whatever holiday it may be...even though they are not mommy's yet I always wish them a GREAT day. When it hit me that I couldn't send one to Ash, it took a while to pull the knife out of my heart.

I did get to spend a little bit of time with my sister, Ash's mom. She showed me that she got a copy of Ash's tattoo on her left shoulder just as Ash's was... it's a heart with a music note built in... then under in Ash's handwriting is Ashley's name. Then under that is her dob & dod.

I told her that I loved it and was going to try to get something similar but since she had the exact match I was going to get a tattoo of Ashley's signature which Ash had signed on my whiteboard a couple of years ago that I never erased.

I plan on taking a picture and having it blown up enough so that it's clear enough to have it tattoo'd on the inside of my left wrist. I also found a picture on Ash's facebook where she wrote the word "Love" in sharpie marker and put tape across it to make it look like a tattoo. She always wanted this tattoo'd on the inside of her wrist. I may also have that tattoo'd on the inside of my wrist since it too is in her handwriting.

I wonder, please don't think I'm a tattoo junkie... I'm not... I just want something that will be from Ashley in her handwriting that can not be erased or lost.

I wonder... I'm sorry this wasn't written in the I wonder format... Hopefully someday soon I will get back to me and I will get back to writing the I wonder's as they should be....

<----for all & don't forget to hug all those you love and let them know that you do love them every chance you get...you don't know when that chance will be gone.

Love to all,
Abbie