I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation. I don't know that I am in any way qualified to give advice about this since I haven't really been in this situation...but I can tell you a little bit about how my boyfriend and I deal with my RSD (we live together and it has been 9 years now that we've been together).

I don't know that my boyfriend understands RSD any more than your wife. He completely 100% accepts that when I can't do something, I can't, and when I have limitations that they are real...but RSD is so hard to REALLY grasp. I don't really understand it...but I FEEL it so it that sense I definitely "get it". He understands the basic concepts of it like I do but honestly we don't talk about it. I know for some people that may seem strange but the best gift my boyfriend has given me is that he still treats me like a normal person and we never make an issue out of the fact that I have RSD. It has given me a lot of strength and I think helped me from falling into a depression....gives me something to fight for.

He knows when I am having a particularly bad day and does things to help out without asking. Things have been tough this last year with me unable to work and now with work not allowing me to come back but we are working through the financial stuff and it hasn't affected our relationship at all except to maybe make us closer.

For me...it is less important that he UNDERSTANDS RSD and what I am going through and more important that he is supportive, compassionate, and that we are getting through this TOGETHER. I feel very lucky to have him in my life.

Everyone's relationships are different though and if you need something more from your wife or she needs something more from you, then you need to talk about it. Letting things build up on the inside and getting frustrated with one another is very very bad (not saying this is what you are going through...just making the general statement). In my opinion, when you are in a relationship you need to go through things together and not seperately. So really sit down and talk with her openly and honestly about everything. You and her may both need to say and hear things you don't want to...but it's really the only way to sort things out.