its a good idea to make a quiet time to sit and talk with the wife. Make sure the kids are washed and in bed. the dishes are over, and you are not distracted by ringing phones or farmvilles that need attention. Set a date or ask her on a date.

Tell her how much you appreciate her being able to go back to work, and how helpful that has been to allow you time to heal, and adjust to your new life of having a chronic disease. You have notice that she seems frustrated, upset, or overwhelmed with all of her new responsibilities as much as you are stressed and over whelmed by the changing of roles. You wanted to take the time out to really thank her, and allow some question and answer time. Ask her flat out "what can I do to make your situation better? If I can, i will try." That statement right there will go miles further than the "whats wrong with you!? im the sick one here!" As tempting as it is to start off with a rant or a whine, if you do that, you wont get to what her real concerns or issues are.

She may have felt it was her beloved role to stay home and raise children, and now being forced to go to work is doing something that she didnt want, nor does she like, but she does it to put food on the table. She needs a pat on the back for that. If she is feeling that you are just staying home because you are not trying hard enough (a lot of spouses feel that way with invisible diseases) then this needs to be addressed. Ask what you can do to help her understand. Does she want to go to the MD with you and hear what they say? Does she want to be included more or less in your care?

You both have been thru the wringer lately. Sometimes it takes a while for you both to settle into your new roles that you have been forced into. Can you do any side work? tune a neighbors car for cash? fix a junker and sell it for cash? or is the extent of your RSD so bad you are stuck in the house? Money issues are the first thing to trigger my hubby, and he will go into deep worry.

im hoping you and the wife can work this out. communication is so important. If you cant get her to communicate you have other choices to make. give her a hug and see if you can get her to open up.