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Old 05-18-2012, 09:47 AM
Mariel Mariel is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 724
15 yr Member
Mariel Mariel is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 724
15 yr Member
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Wow! It does me SO much good to come to this forum, because I see others coping as I have to.
Dej, I used to have a good life too, although struggle with health was #1 from the age of 17 onward. i was a scholar who went to Stanford, an athlete (dancer), etc., and suddenly I was having an attack of something no one understood, which made "dating" and even getting through the first quarter of college almost impossible. Then I got better, for a while, got through college, etc. After a miserable first marriage of eight months, I finally married a really great guy, and we had a wonderful life--but that life, like yours, was impaired by my illness, and this was for ALL of our life together, 41 years.
Concerning your husband, please consider this the great thing in your life. However imperfect he may be (you don't say he is, but everyone is) he is loyal and "in it for the long haul." Please consider that this is an extraordinary gift from God. Not everyone has this. Look at Mocha, single and alone. I would say look at me, a widow lamentably alone, but I did have those years with a really great man.

After Irv died I tried to get re-established in Seattle, but fate struck me down hard and I had to come back here. But while in Seattle, I did see a counselor who was provided by my hematology clinic. He was the best counselor I ever had. He said that my life with Irv wouldn't have been the same if we had not had the struggles we did, that these struggle MADE our life.
Of course, you were married before the particular struggle of MS came along...no doubt there were other less drastic struggles earlier. So your husband didn't marry you knowing he went into this. However, nevertheless, his beautiful loyalty is to be prized as a pearl of great price.
As with Kitty, the most important thing in my life is my faith. Irv and I struggled together to find faith, through New Age participation (really heavy duty there) and back to traditional church, and I am now out of the church scene but still struggling to keep faith in spite of suffering and loneliness. I won't go into all that since that would be posting religious stuff.
I am where you are: FED UP! But we are here "for he long haul" and there is no other way, so Courage, Mate!
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"Thanks for this!" says:
Dejibo (05-18-2012), Kitty (05-18-2012), SallyC (05-18-2012)