Yeah we have one called Becks Blue, which is packaged and tastes so much like normal Becks that my brother-in-law once drank a load of it by mistake and started acting all drunk, which was funny

That wasn't what I was talking about, I meant the proper 'weissbier', but Becks Blue is pretty good too.

The other option is to get a hypnotist to make you think that you're drunk. I think there could be a market for a pub for people with health conditions which preclude drinking, where the barman is in fact a hypnotist and serves people non-alcoholic drinks whilst making them believe that they are getting drink.

Put lots of padding on everything to protect anyone who falls over and we're sorted!