I held on just until my 50th year . . . (I am now 60.) Then ulcerative colitis, Crohn's and peripheral neuropathy (which turned out to be transverse myelitis/maybe MS) set in. I hit my peak at 43-45, having worked hard to get myself in my best physical shape ever, eating a 75% raw and almost vegetarian lifestyle, and working out at least 5 days a week. I had just rejoined a gym when my colitis began, giving me symptoms that felt like a hip issue and making exercise increasingly painful. It was a fast-developing diseased colon, not a hip.

Did you know your colon holds your immune system in balance? Remove it and see what hits you.

Dej . . . I totally get where you are. My second grandchild will be here in 2 weeks, I have a great partner, an ok kitty cat, and a yard we have turned into a birder's sanctuary, even though it is tiny. But waking each morning isn't that great "new day" experience for me most mornings, as I awaken in pain and unable to think. I used to amaze my partner at how I would bound out of bed, into the shower and be bright-eyed first thing every morning. She is lucky now if there aren't daggers in my first eye contact with her . . .

I just saw my neuro for my bi-annual visit, and he confirmed the ankle and feet swelling is something he sees all the time, and that there is probably nothing I can do for it. I repeat my MRI's this fall, and will have to wait to see if my disease is progressing or if the Imuran I am on is keeping it in check. None of the pain or spasm meds work for me, mostly due to terrible side effects with my Crohn's.

I have spent over $400 on new shoes recently trying to find something that fits, accommodates swelling, and that i can actually walk in. Hiking 8-10 miles in one day used to be my recreation of choice . . . and now a quick shopping trip makes me hobble.

What is the worst, though, is that my partner has watched her life disappear right along with mine. Even if we won a huge lottery, and our financial issues evaporated overnight, we would still be terribly limited in what we could do. (Although, I would love to design the perfect home for someone with my issues . . . my bathroom would be out-of-this-world!)

So when I read a post like yours, my heart immediately opens up and hugs you. The other day I just wanted to crawl into my partner's arms and let her just hold me . . . but guess what? My body can not handle that for very long. If anything sucks worse than that, I haven't found it yet!

Sending hugs, love, hope for some moments of pure relief, pleasure, pain-free life. (((Dej)))