Fracturedmind

Please don't feel guilty about not wanting to live, because it's not true. The problem is you WANT to live - you just don't know how with all the strange things happening in your life.

I read through your posts and they sound eerily familiar, though I don't think I've ever had full-blown seizures. I have a rare form of familial amyloidosis, and it causes a lot of the symptoms you mention - including swallowing and vision problems. I've been stuck in my home for several years now. I seriously doubt you have what I have. I'm only mentioning my illness because I can certainly understand your "imprisonment" and anxiety over your symptoms. I'd be bouncing off the walls if I didn't know what was wrong with me.

You shouldn't have to figure this out on your own. I really wish you could find a professional you trust who knows how to listen to your symptoms. Until then, you can practice talking with us nonprofessionals. Who knows, maybe together we'll find a voice that the professionals will be able to hear.

Just wanted to let you know you're not the only person living in a shoe box - and I'm hoping you'll be able to break free and do some living.