Please stop RIGHT NOW! Read this message: YOU ARE LOVED.
My grandfather killed himself. My uncle did the same thing. I really think they wouldn't have been able to take their life if they had only stopped and said I AM LOVED. If you can't live for yourself, live for somebody YOU love.
Got it?
Another trick I've learned: put yourself in a comfortable position (lying down is good) - then think on a really perfect day from your memory bank. Remember the sounds, the smells, maybe a breeze on your face or maybe the sun beating down - Stay there for a long time. You'll come back feeling better.