I am very sorry to hear this and I completely understand the need to vent. I've definitely been there a time or two (or a hundred...but who's counting?).

There were many times that I was extremely overwhelmed by everything. In those moments I tried to follow the best advice that I have been given during all of this: Focus on the things you CAN control and not the things you can't. It's really important to TRY to calm yourself down and take things one at a time.

I don't have much money either and there were several treatments I wanted to try or doctors I wanted to see that I just couldn't because of the cost. I wish things had been different but they weren't so once I made the decision that those treatments were out of reach I moved on. There are always new things coming out and other things to try.

As for the treatments that don't have the medical support you are looking for...there may be ways around that. I'm not sure which treatment options you are speaking about but in some cases if you are working with a doctor you trust then maybe you could get them on board with you. Bring them the research and come prepared to discuss WHY it is important to you to try this treatment and why the other treatments are not options. You could also look into traveling to receive the treatment. If the treatment itself is not out of the budget then maybe you could find the funds for the travel. Also consider what the cost and risks of trying the treatment on your own vs. the possible benefits. It may be that you are so overwhelmed right now but if there is little to no risk of doing the treatment on your own (like with tDCS) then what do you have to lose besides the pain and some of your time?

If those are not possibilities then you need to think outside of the box and see what you DO have available to you. I know it sucks when the options are limited but we do what we can. Until I found tDCS I just assumed I would have to live with the pain. I pushed really hard through months and months of physical therapy to get the function back and I did it without much in the way of pain relief. It wasn't easy...but I just had to use all the tools I had (hot bath with epsom salts, TENS unit, ultrasound, space heater, heating pads, four Fs diet, and physical therapy) to help me get through it. You would be amazed what you can accomplish on your own if you set your mind to it.

There are always new things coming out in the medical field so just because there isn't something available to you today doesn't mean that there won't be tomorrow. You just have to make the decision to not give up and to keep fighting. Don't spend all your time focused on the things you can't control...worrying about them does no good. Instead think about the things you CAN control and the choices you CAN make. They may not be good choices but you do have a choice.

And as far as the money is concerned...try to think outside of the box there as well. Sometimes if you appeal to the insurance company you can get them to cover treatments they may not normally cover or that they denied before (possibly making something that is not affordable now BECOME affordable). There are several people on the forum who have done this and I am sure if you post the question they would be happy to share their experiences.

Good luck to you...I really hope things start to turn around and get better for you real soon.