I am so exhausted and drained. I am not hungry, I just want to sleep.

That is my plan for tonight.

Plus my pain is flaring up again from getting her up and in and out of the tub.

I have just had it. I wish I could stop crying on and off.

She is acting like everything is honky dorey.

Haven't heard from Mike since today, oh well. I guess I do in a way need him, but then again I need to be alone too. I have to do what I have to do, and not get other people involved. I am alone on this, per usual, except for you all and a few friends.

I am so confused and screwed up.

Need meds and sleep. I know I am going to cry myself to sleep tonight, I can't hold it back anymore. My life is such a mess, screw up, etc. I am having bad thoughts too. If you know what I mean. Bye Bye.....

Hugs, Love, Laughs and Hope - Nikko