Great to hear from you this morning Fractured. Have you had a chance to read Pters words at the top of this forum? He was truly the wisest man about suicidal thoughts and we all learned so much from him...rescue yourself is such a good plan.
When I used to feel as desperate as you sound..I'd think about floating. Swimming was impossible at that point so I'd just float until I felt a little better. And I'd remember to look up...there was light up there and hands reaching down to pull me from the pit.
We are those hands for you. And Curious has the rope! *whisper..she also has chocolate!