Hello fhawn, and welcome to NeuroTalk.

I'm sorry for all the problems that you've been dealing with and even more sorry to read about your father. Have you found our Survivors of Suicide Forum yet? It's a forum for those who have lost some-one to suicide, attempted suicide or else need help to fight the urge to end their own lives.

Please drop by and say hello. You'll find many, kind, listening ears over there. Here's the link: http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html