When I am trying to make decision like this for myself, I try to weigh the difficulty/relapse factors against the importance/rarity factors and also consider what other demands I will have on me in the near future.

For example, my sister got married this winter. I traveled a long distance by airplane with my son (just the two of us) and spent a week out of my normal routine, staying up late, in large groups at restaurants because it was a once in a lifetime event for someone who is very important to me. I wouldn't have done something comparable for a neighbor's birthday, for instance.

Also, because I knew that this event was coming and would be very important to me and to her, I did my best to clear my schedule of commitments for the weeks before and after so that if I did have a relapse, I wouldn't have other things to worry about.

Another example, last year I made an extra effort to go out to a restaurant to celebrate my husband's birthday. I didn't go out for other friends' birthdays or for regular "hey-lets-go-out-to-eat" events, but this was a special occasion that I wanted to honor. I knew it would set me back, so I planned for the next couple of days to be able to take it easy.

Since we don't know you or your family situation intimately, it's hard to say exactly how important these family members are to you or how important these events are. But those are the kind of things I think about when making decisions like that for myself.