I don't think I have ever been on this site before but I may have been when my sister took her life and I just don't remember. I lost my sister on 12/9/2010. I guess she just couldn't take her troubled life anymore. Since my father died of a sudden heart attack 13 years ago I have told people you never get over it but you simply get through it.

I think suicide is a little different. I go back and forth with emotions abut my sister. Sometimes I am sad, angry, guilty or I feel the love I always had for her. She use to always tell me I was her best friend. It is hard for me because the rest of my family does not speak with her husband (he was not a good guy) so I keep a smile on my face while around him. I want to keep in contact with my nephews and my sisters grandsons. If I don't speak with him that will end.
I went to a party for one of the children a few weeks ago and had to watch him with his new girlfriend. He and my nephew were talking about the family going down the shore together with his father and his girlfriend. It breaks my heart to know he is moving on (as he should) and my sister has no life.
I suppose I just want her back. I miss her. I went to the store tonight and saw a product my sister used all the time and we use to joke about. It made me smile and feel like crying at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, I am not sad everyday. Actually, my sister had such a troubled life and was so bad at the end that I have told people if someone told me she could come back but would have to live the same life she had I would not want to put her through that.
I feel for all of us. I wish this never happened to anyone. I think it is the worst thing that can happen to a familly.
Well sorry I vented on and on. Just feeling bad tonight. I hope we all feel better tomorrow.
Fortunately, I am a believer that I will see my sister again and she will tell me exactlly what happened and why. We will share our love again some day.