Hi,

I am brand new to this site but it seems like the place to hopefully get some info. I am a twiced divorced 52 yr old childless woman who has barely ever worked due to several disabilities. I was born with serious bilateral hip dysplasia resulting in 6 major surgeries between 1988-2001. I also shattered my left ankle 28 yrs ago which is now bone on bone. The worst though is I have always had a serious bipolar, ADHD, PTSD and learning disability in math!!!! At least after taking the 4 hr neuro-psych test two yrs ago I was told I had a genius IQ!!!!!!!!!!! It has not served me one bit ever! Anyway, my work background is little, and sporadic. I never worked more than a month anywhere due to pain, and really social interactive skills in the workplace. I am an artist but have never made a living from it. I was married twice to very successful men who knowing my disabilities always supported me. In fact they were saints, and my insanity pretty much pushed them to the brink!!

In 2005 after my second divorce I for the first time in my life was forced to apply for social security disability. I had never been taken the neuro-psych test despite 26 years of therapist after therapist. Knowing how seriously depressed I'd get, and them be flying on a high not a one of them ever suggested it. I was diagnosed with bad clinical depression . . . Period. The antidepressants never worked fully, and they tried one after the other after the other. I never felt right, and in fact went way down often. So, I apply, and of course get turned down. I reapply this time with a lawyer...turned down. Apply again...turned down. On the next appeal I believe it was, there was a hearing before a judge planned. The only income they had to go on was a job arranging flowers in 1999 that lasted for a month. The pay was minimum wage. The lawyer thought it was a no brainier, and that we had surely won. When the "enveloped" finally arrived it was an "unfavorable" decision based on the fact that I had owned a horse on the farm I had lived on!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, the "therapist" they sent me to for psychiatric evaluation determined i was "quite sad"!! I was in fact dissacoiative, and suicidal that day, and I told him so in a mad panicked state! The plethora of medical records also seemed to have zero affect on this idiot of a judge. I got rid of my lawyer who neglected to present all the information, and found myself one of the best in the state. They appealed again, but this time presenting the in depth neuro-psych test results, and a lengthy report from my new psychologist. He is just amazing, and the first to diagnose me correctly. He was appaled at the way my entire case was handled as were my GP and orthopedists. I finally got on meds including a mood stabilizer, something for the ADHD and the expert therapy I'd needed since I was a child. When I was 3 1/2 my legs were wrenched into a tortuous one piece metal split brace for which I was confined to for two years. I just recently found out that they didn't change my condition one little bit except to leave me with a whopper of a PTSD of which I'm still struggling madly with. It could have helped to attribute my fear of a work environment. I felt like a defective freak my whole life. We're working on all that now so it's getting better. I also found out that antidepressants alone can actually make bipolar worse!!!!! They need to be used in low doses or not at all depending on the severity of the bipolar, and a mood stabalizer is what needs to be given!!! Idiots all around. My therapist stated that he was disgusted with the colleagues of his profession. He has been fighting for me to get my disability since he met me. So, getting back to the case . . . After my new lawyer appealed the judges ruling it went to the council review board. They denied to review it stating the new evidence was not significent enough to overturn the ruling!!!!!!!!!! I then went and applied for SSI which I did get, but none of my Dr.s accepted Medicaid. Believe it or not they believe in me so much that my GP, and therapist (of course) have been treating me for free. I have no savings at all so I scrape by every month. My lawyer then requested the review board to take another look at my case . . . Denied. The only recourse was a civil case in federal court. My lawyer did not initially want to take it as so many lose. I told him he was a *****, and fearful of his litigation skills!!!! There's nothing like challenging a mans ego!!!!!! He said if my therapist consented to testifying in court if absolutely, and he write an even more compelling report he would take it. He also said he knew my Dr. would never consent. WRONG!!!! So . . . About 10 months ago we presented our case in federal court, and guess what? It was remanded!!!!!!!!! Finally someone had the balls to slap them all and say "shame on you". We are now waiting for a date to go back before the initial judge to have the case reheard but he got spanked hard!

My question now is if we win, and do get retroactive funds going back to 2005 will they tax me on it, and will my hopefully appointed SSDI be affected by it? I also have enormous medical bills that have not been paid. I'm assuming they will be paid by SS without affecting my funds. I just don't understand how this works, and haven't been able to get specific info online. I live in Rhode Island in case that means anything.

Thank you ror reading my novel. Im very sorry for it. That kind of rambling is a huge trait of the bipolar personality!!!!!!!