I'm going to 'copy' terralyn's answer and say that I've found having a therapist to work with me through this process hass been VERY helpful. She's kept me from going over the deep edge more times than I can count !

While I'm still hoping for a magic wand to make this all go away, I have gotten more realistic on the odds of that ever happening.

I've given up on solutions just falling into my lap. While I still believe doctors SHOULD be doing more to help more of us find help, if not a total solution, time has also taught me not to depend on them. I feel like I've had to educate, prod, or fight my medical team every step of the way. I'd still be miserable 24/7 if I waited for them to suggest something helpful on their own.

For me, the only thing I was 'offered' was PT. Interventions that have been more helpful, like meds (Neurontin, Cymbalta, narcotics), TENS, water therapy, cervical traction, massage, accupuncture, chiro.....I've had to initiate myself, ask for, or beg for.

I believe educating yourself is a great first step. You won't know if your docs are offering you a reasonable selection of txs if you don't know what the treatments are. There are some, like HBOT, tDCS, and ketamine that I haven't been able to try yet.

I do think it's important to not rule out most treatments because of their possible side effects or warnings. That doesn't mean blindly try everything. Some interventions, like surgery (I'm thinking specifically of a SCS here) could have long term effects, and less long term helpful effects, that make it a more serious consideration. As opposed to MOST side effects from meds that cwould go away shortly after you stop taking them. If you are adamantly against anything with a warning, you couldn't even take Tylenol or have kids. You have to make an educated decision on everything after weighing the risks and rewards.

One point you made.....about not being eligible for SSDI because you took time off to have a kids.....is a HUGE issue. I think it's incumbent on all of us to warn friends/family/and future generations to remember that. The SSA may not be solvent for long, but neglecting to consider long term disability insurance of some kind is a mistake I think a lot of young people and folks with young kids make.

You've got new friends here. Many will have had some experiences very similar to what you are going through. Hang in there ! I don't think it ever gets easy, but it can get easier.