Hey Fracturedmind,
I read your message. The fact that you reached out a bit means something. It is not all lost, if you still want to communicate. People are mostly good and want to help. I hope you can get more pleasure out of life. Keep reaching out, it will bring you out of your dark hole. Keep trying to open your eyes and trust in life again. I bet you have alot to offer others, especially sine you have suffered so much.