I want to welcome you to Neruo Talk. You found a good place to get some help, and most of all compassion. I too take morphine after two spinal fusions. I know about the quality of life issues you face. Someone not in your shoes does not know what it is like to be in your position, where most of your life has been taken from you due to pain. Many of us here, struggle with pain issues. Please seek another pain specialist that can also deal with the depression, and emotional issues that come with pain. After 4 yearsm with my pain specialist, and being reduced to a wheel chair, I sought out more help. I found a pain specialist that is also a Board Certifiedn Physiatrist. Not only does she deal faily with me with my medications, she tried to treat the whole person, not just as a pain specialist/patient, but as a human being which we are. I hope you can find someone like this. I searched a long long time, and it was actually my pharmasist, who helped direct me to this physician. Find more help, and a better group of doctors to take you under their care. Physically and mentally it helps, when you know for sure your doctors are in your corner. Both my PCP and this new doc. are on the same page, and also are willing to communicate with each other. I really do wish you all the best in your situation. None of it is easy. Keep coming back here to NT, with questions, just to talk and hang out. I come here all the time for help and compassion, when I feel lost. Take care, ginnie