Hi sadlyme,

I want to welcome you to the forum, it's not easy getting a diagnosis, I myself resisited the dx of BP II from my first T, but after the second one told me she thought I was BP II then I had to start accepting it. When the medication she prescribed me helped I knew it was time to embrace what being BP means.

I wish I could say there is some positive aspect of the dx but I really can't. At least I am capable of writing...If I wasn't creative and able to express my feelings in my poetry an stories I would lose it. I often wonder what life would be like if I didn't write, but for whatever reason I don't have much of a choice in the matter, I just have to write or I get depressed. I am glad you joined us, I hope it helps to know you're not alone being sad and disppointed in finding yourself with this label/diagnosis.

The good news is medication can help and so can finding your outlet, whatever it might be, some people write like me and others read or listen to music to feel better. I have a son so I can't let myself lay in bed or he won't be taken care of, so I don't know what that's like anymore. I remember before the dx and before knowing why I got so darn depressed I would just lie around and cry until I couldn't physically cry anymore, the anxiety and panic ran rampant in my life and I was really suffering constantly.

I figure I might have to take meds for the rest of my life and if that is the cost of being stable so be it. Because on medication I have found a nice level where I am not depressed or nearly as anxious as I used to get. I can be happy with my life because of my son's light in my life, so that brings me much joy. I hope that you can find the place where you are stable and able to get out of bed and be content. It's hard to find, but when you do hang onto it and enjoy it, because it's stable times that you have tl remember when the bad times hit you. At least that is what I try to do.

If you need to talk we're here for you sadlyme.