Sorry to hear you're going through that...I'm thinking that feeling that way is probably a symptom of chronic disease, especially debilitating disease, in general. That feeling of "losing" yourself, missing the "old" you, etc. It stinks.

You know what, I think your husband really DOESN'T hear you. I swear that men have ears that filter out anything remotely resembling emotion. I don't think most of them do it on purpose, they just can't process emotion. My daughter says, "Hey, even the best dude is still a dude".

I don't say that to excuse him if he's dismissive to you or whatever, just that I experience the same frustration, and there's no doubt in my mind that my husband loves me and cares about how I feel. He just can't FEEL how I feel.

Back when he was diagnosed with cancer, I wanted to TALK about it (of course), get him to "open up" about his fears, his concerns about how it could change his life, how we'd deal with various scenarios. He said, "There's no point in talking about it, it will be what it will be."

I know this doesn't apply to all men, and there are men and women here on NeuroTalk that understand and will listen and will share. We'll help each other find ways to cope. Sometimes just knowing somebody else thinks the same thoughts and feels the same feelings helps.