That is good news, about that many doctors looking at your reports. The more that look at it the better! I so know about that fear. That is why I found this site too. I was so sick with fear I was nauseated most of the time. I would indeed hold your hand if I could. None of it is fun or easy to consider. You have friends here, that will help you cope. Two days after my surgery, even in some pretty bad pain, I did type a few sentances to NT. I was so surprised to find so many people who were thinking about me during the proceedure, and they were there for me after also. You are doing all the right things. ginnie