Hi and welcome to the forum. I can certainly understand your frustrations and feeling of trapped. The P-doc issues are so familar.

When in a life altering situation you lose the person you were and and recreate the new you. It is almost like grieving the loss of you and finding a person you are happy being...But, that is easier said thenm done. I think it takes us forever to refix, accept and try to walk in a new pair of shoes. Especially a pair that were not our first choice.

BUT about your name. sadlyme, makes a statement, how you feel. But here, you are Especiallyme.....
You are a special person really. Even in sadness you can still be kind, caring and heart opening. So you are special here.

I hope that you can find friends, support and some answers from the gang.
Dianne