Hi,
I understand not wanting to go to bed for apprehension about what you will meet in your sleep. Sleep should be a relief and a way to regenerate for the next day. Too often, it doesn't bring those blessings.
I was diagnosed in 1988. Since then I have lowered my meds.
Right now I am on Verapamil (mood stabilizer) and Klonopin. They are mostly doing their job.
I wish I had more energy but before I was diagnosed I had a lot of mixed episodes. I am grateful to be out of that.
Dianne is right in that after diagnosis we go through a long phase of re-examining our life and mourning our old life. Therapists can help with this. So can writing/keeping a journal.
I had to mourn the plans I had for my life, the plans for the life that could have been.
What meds have you tried? Maybe people here have some good ideas that you can take to your pdoc.
Are you on meds now that are causing depression?
Quote:
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I have to find a way to get out of this room I've shut myself in. It's my safe haven, does that make since? Wanting to get out but I'm a shut in.. I've often thought I've been sick so long, I don't know the real me anymore, am I afaird to see what comes out the other side?
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Can you go somewhere for a 20 minute walk? A walk can do amazing things to help the brain. Can you go out in the sunshine (depending on your weather)? Sunshine can be healing in many ways.
Keep writing.
You will find the real you. Keep faith.
M.