Thank you for all the great advice.

#1 I have caller ID & i have HER # on a special ring, so I know without looking its their # calling. I NEVER answer it. I let it go to voice mail.

#2 I took them a card last year of a woman who does dog sitting/house sitting/baby sitting/errands, lawn care, and so forth. She CHARGES for these services, but she is reliable, friendly, sweet, and bends her schedule for fussy clients. They have stopped calling me after finally getting the hint that NO! I wont watch/walk dogs, watch, fix houses, or do other errands for you. I dont do my own errands, why would I do yours?

#3 DH is so sweet, and its so rare that he gets a chance to give back. I am going to allow the surprise to continue and not clue him in. I wont allow her to ruin HIS hard work. I will go, I will act surprised, and I will be glad to see old friends, and family that i havent seen in a while. its only one night, and how often do you turn 50? I can be selfish everyday, but this is my chance to let DH give back and feel good.

#4 I have made it clear to stop waving when they drive by. When they drop in uninvited i make it clear that I am having a "bad day" and ask them to come back another time. or "im really busy right now, we will have to get together later." I dont give in anymore.

#5 toxic people are NOT allowed in my life. If DH wishes to be friends with her husband, so be it, but he has already been told I will NOT be included. They can fish, hunt, eat pizza, or go to home depot and do projects till the cows come home, but I am NOT ever to be included...got it? If I am not willing to allow it from my blood relatives, why would I allow it from neighbors?

So...there ya have it. im upset, and shocked, but I am going to be a big girl and not spoil DHs fun. He would run a mile naked across hot coals if he thought it would make me happy. To ruin it would only serve to hurt him. she would never ever learn a lesson or feel she did something wrong.