Bless your heart. I sure can relate to depression, which is what you're describing. I've been depressed since I was a child. Of course, my parents didn't recognize it -- they didn't recognize anything.

When I was in my mid twenties, I went into therapy - and after many sessions, even my therapist suggested I get on an antidepressant, so I did. Of course i stayed in therapy given my childhood. Later on, I spent a couple of weeks in the mental ward of a hospital, which did me a LOT of good!

I'm sorry that antidepressants don't work for you, as they've pretty much saved my life! I'm glad you're in therapy tho. It DOES help, although it can be painful having to delve into some of the dark alleys of life. But once we get thru those and deal with some of the past and put it to rest, life can look a bit better. What I have a lot of problem with is day to day living and socialization. I'm great in a crisis -- but this day to day stuff is what gets me. LOL Plus making friends and dealing with lots of people and/or crowds is pretty overwhelming.

It does take time, my friend. We didn't get this way overnight, so we aren't going to be "cured" overnight either. I'm OLD now, and stopped going to therapy, thru my own fault. My husband died, and ALL our friends "dumped" me after he died --- i have no idea why. I guess it's because no one wants a single woman in a "couples only" group. So i got mad and said "to heck with it." LOL

But you are NOT "beyond saving!!!" You are very YOUNG!!! You have your whole life ahead of you! Good heavens, don't give up now! You're very well-spoken, obviously intelligent, and seem very very NICE. So please keep the faith! And try posting in the "Depression" forum. You'll get more answers there, I'm sure.

God bless and please keep posting & keep us updated, ok? Hugs, Lee