Dearest Jaycojade-I have not been on here for a few years now, been suffering from many things, just shut myself off from people, in all areas of my life. This Sept.11-2012, will be 10 years since I lost my Amy, to a rare type of cancer. She was just 20 when she died, so much life ahead of her. I can tell you that, though it may be hard for you to believe, that it will get better for you. The first couple of years, I began sobbing less, and crying instead. There is a big difference between the two. She would have turned 30 last month. This spring was the first time that I was able to go through her clothes and things that have been packed away, and put things of hers into boxes, to give to someone who can use them. It has taken my nearly a decade, but I am able to finally do it. I know she went straight to Heaven, the second she died, and is looking down on me, and her sisters. She is not suffering. I can only tell you that it will, and it does get somewhat easier, as time goes on. I wish you peace. I am sorry that justice has not been done, and will pray that it will. Stay strong.