Yes, dear Bizi, I'm safe. Thank you - that's an important factor in all of this, isn't it?

In beating down the depression demon and taming the mania maven, I'm learning what works for me.

Between the ages of about 16 and probably 19, I smoked it maybe once a month - and only socially. I also tried other "psychedelic" drugs. It was the early 70's... I had no idea that something was "wrong" with me. Looking back, I discovered these "drugs" gave me the power to be the person I wanted to be... without debilitating anxiety and shyness. I again have to stress I did this very seldom. I started seeing my soon-to-be husband... and his world revolved around alcohol. And, myself being the adult-child-of-an-alcoholic... I will not go into this part of my "story" just yet...

So... not doing "it" except maybe 6 times, in 22... when my life started REALLY falling apart... I found pot again... 12 yrs ago and... Slowly but surely... until now.... at age 58... I know it is what keeps me off or picks me up off of the suicidal path...

if I experiment and I cut it out of my life... and here is where I struggle... within a few months (usually less!) ... the demon returns full blown... and the pick-me up maven re-appears...

I've read a lot and talk a lot... I share this when I am comfortable. I feel that the more I share... the more others share... and we learn we're not alone. And from the discussion comes knowledge .

My Sunday is going well.