there was a whole lot more, but stupid computer ate it, and I cannot write it over right now. maybe another day. quick summary, i've had it, not one damn doctor has done me any good, and evidently aren't going to, so no more. if i didn't have kids, i wouldn't even care about the apparently increasing chance of dropping dead.

but it is damn clear that no doctor is going to do anything for me. so i am done. fine. it's not mg. it's not anything. it's all my imagination. so me and my imagination are going to put our energy into finding ways to accept living on the couch.