I know it may mean silly to some that someone can grieve in a similar way as the loss of a family member or a friend but it is what I am feeling now. I have never married and had her when she was a kitten. It is difficult to describe the bond between us but you can imagine. She was diagnosed with the feline aids cat virus and this was so sad to see how the virus just simply started to get the upper hand and eventually caused me to have her put to sleep. What is causing the most pain right now is that I feel so guilty as I left the room before she was put to sleep. I simply could not be there and was starting to cry uncontrollably. Now I feel that I have abandoned her in the end. I have a codependent over-caring personality and this makes it even worse. 5 Years ago I was engaged to a lovely lady but she is an alcoholic and the engagement and all contact was ended when she went to rehab. I was devastated and then learned about co-dependent behavior. I went to All Anon and got myself better by applying the steps and slogans to my everyday life. Interesting is that I am exactly back to where I was when I lost the engagement now with the loss of Minki. People with codependent personalities are good people but we suffer and hurt much more than others I think. Thanks for reading my message.