I'm glad I found this forum. I feel like I've been suffering for years in silence. Since more news has been out about ex football players with PCS I think I may have stumbled upon something that has plagued me for more than 25 yrs. I am 42. Played Football (contact)since first grade through college. Can remember getting my "bell rung" all the time in grade school as we were taught to lead with our helmets. I have been knocked unconcious at least 7 times that I can remember, not all of which were football related but am positive that my estimate of playing with a concussion or before healed and reinjuring had to have occurred more than 40x in HS and college alone. I now deal with uncontrollable fatigue. I work, come home then sleep through till morning, feeling completely unrested. I have dealt with severe depression since HS and tried to commit suicide once as a junior. I feel like I have a mental disorder. I'll be ok then I will fly off the handle, even getting violent at times. I have complete lapses in memory. Losses of complete conversations which causes many home and work problems. If it happened on the phone, my wife tells me to look at my phone, and sure enough, the day before we will have had a text or phone conversation that I can't or can barely remember. I have been on every antidepressant and have experience extrapyrmidal (sp?) symptoms with every one. To this day I have uncontrolled teeth clenching and have been off the last one for at least 4 mos. I hate life. I wake up exhausted and stay that way. I have shut my family, wife and 4 kids completely out for fear of hurting them and just don't know what to do. I have other health problems also, sleep apnea (cpap everytime I lay down), kidney disease for the last 15 years, Htn, hyperparathyroidism, gout, arthritis from all the wear and tear from football, polycythemia, recurrent deep vein thrombosis bilaterally as well as superficial blood clots from extended home health driving and the list goes on. I just want some sense of normalcy in my life, whatever that is. It's been so long since I have felt it I must have been in Jr High. If anyone can give me the 411 on this stuff, anything to at least help the fatigue, I believe life could be worth living. As it stands, my wife grudgingly stands beside me, my kids hate me and I hate myself. I find no pleasure in my vocation as a therapist any longer and if I didn't have a 16 yo waiting for a kidney transplant himself after 33 surgeries already, I think I would have already given in. PLEASE, if you have any ideas to help make my life bearable, I would be forever in your gratitude. God Bless...