How horrible. I went through the same thing...from runner and backpacker, to decrepit. Those early years were horrible. Fear of what the future held and being adrift with no direction or hope was as bad as the pain.

There is nothing in your profile about where you live. If you put it in as part of your profile there might be a good doctor or pain program in your area that somebody here can tell you about.

There are other things that can help you cope and help you heal. I've harped on the Rebuilder for years, and don't want to be like a broken record, but it's worth a try. After less than a month of my use of it, the sharp edge was off the metatarsal pain, though I still couldn't really walk. At least I was sleeping most of the night. These electric units cause the release of endorphins which quiet the nerves and promote healing.

Just know that we care about you, and will do all we can through this weird cyberworld to support you and to promote your recovery. Please be patient. You're wounded from the surgery and it takes time to heal. You've hit bottom now, but things will get better.