Cry and grieve, that is what you do, and must do. I do know about the bond with animals. I had scruffy from 4 weeks to 21 years old. I cried for months, and I still do, two years later. It is OK to cry like that. I could not be with my cat either, when I had him put down. I felt some of that guilt too. However if I had not given him relief, I would have felt worse. You did the ultimate gift of love for Minky, but granting him rest, and no pain or illness. Please know that you are not alone. Even people that do not have co-dependant type of personality feel like this. Your grief is totally understandable. Remember the love you have for this friend, never goes away. You learn to live with the loss, but you never forget the friendship you had. It stays with you, and eventually you will look at pictures, or a toy and smile. My memories are wonderful, and there is great comfort now, these two years later, that I did the right thing, and so did you. I wish I could give you a hug, or my shoulder to tear up on. ginnie