I do get that Ginnie. One thing is that she new her last moments were spent with them and that they are causing her pain and not me because I was not there. Now I will share what really bothers me much from the experience at the vet. She was clearly in pain from the morning already and she did not eat at all. She was moaning when I tried to move her. I knew I had to take her.
A week prior to this specific Sunday I also took her to the vet as she was really irritated with itching around her neck area. She kept on trying to scratch and she was shaking her head in an attempt to get to the itching. Both of us were not sleeping well anymore. When I got to the vet (a week prior to her putting down now) he took a syringe and squirted something into her mouth. She was getting upset and growled at him. He was then going to give her another injection in the neck. She was at this stage already getting the antibiotic injection every 2-3 weeks for several months now, so she knew what was coming, but this time she went mad when he tried to inject the needle into her neck. He then took a blanket and wrapped it around her and I had to hold her for the injection, but again she went mad and came out of the blanket. She was scratching me in the process and then did something she never did before. She stood upright on the table and put both her front paws around my neck. I asked him if she was going to attack me but the doctor said it is her way of asking me to take her away from him. She was not aggressive to me anymore. He then gave me the stuff he was going to inject her and I was told how much to squirt into her food which I did. Apparently he was putting her on hormone treatment. Anyway back at home she ate her food and the stuff seemed to make her better. She was still scratching and shaking her head. I went onto the internet and saw that I had to get an anti histamine medication which will help for the itching in cats with the feline aids virus. So I got something we have here called allergex, and for the first time both of us had a better night sleep. It was then that I noticed these massive sores (like open wounds) on her neck and between the shoulder blades and one on her head. Over the next day or so they just spread and almost became one. I then realized why she was not allowing any needle to get to her neck at the vet.
Then that Sunday morning when she just sat on the chair without wanting to move and not eat. Now for the upsetting part and this is what I regret and I am simply not impressed by the same doctor. He knew her well and her soft nature. I was never forcing her to do anything at anytime. When I took her, a lady who stays in my house (she rents a room in my house) came with.
When I walked in I was told that he was going to first give her a tranquilizer and then after about 15 minutes he would then come and give her the final injection. I started to loose it already and asked if there was a quicker way. I did not want another injection and then she might vomit etc and she could not get another injection in her neck anyway because of the sores. He told me that he could inject her directly into her chest which will be quicker. By this time I could not bear anymore and handed Minki to the lady who went with me. I had to get out and was crying intensely. After a while I went back in and they both came out telling me that she passed without a fight and that it was peaceful.
Off course I started asking the lady about the event and she told me that they wrapped her in a blanket so that she could not see the needle......off course she will associate the blanket now with pain and do not tell me that injecting her directly into her heart is not at first painful to her. Had I known that they would do this, I would have stayed and insisted in a more gentle approach at least try without using a blanket. I could not think clearly when I was there as I have never done this. I think the doctor should have calmed me, explain that for Minki's sake it would be better to go the tranquilizer way or at least try to get a vain in the paw etc. but just because he is scared she might fight they did the blanket thing and my mind can only think what she experienced during her last few moments. The only thing I think gives me hope is that Minki was already in so much pain that she might not have felt the needle......Anyway I just wished that I was not loosing it like that and that I could have created a more peaceful passing over. "Ek het jou baie lief Minki" saying "I love you very much Minki" in Afrikaans.