milo I am so sorry for your loss!! I don't know what foreign country you live in but your husband is not only insensitive, he is cruel. Behavior like his is never acceptable. You need to grieve....you need to have the time to grieve the loss of your loved one and suicide has so many difficult areas to overcome...guilt, anger...etc.

Please know that you have come to the right place to talk about it...you aren't alone and talking heals us.