Originally Posted by painman2009

Hi paul. first a hug out to u man ..a soft manly one.
I too have been on the brink of loosing my house, as well as wife and kids.
I too am on mdcd. and comp covers the red. my wife works to support myself and four kids. (in NY) so I feel your pain. RSD started in my right foot knee and hip. to now every thing below the waist and working on both arms belly head and surgical scars. and walking sucks. i have gained over 125 lbs in one year. and I too am fighting a wheel chair. the roller walker wheel chair is great.(its by DRIVE) cvs might have it for 200. or less. it has helped me be a part of my kids life if only as a spectator. I want to address an remark you made. its about suicide not being mentioned in the bible. It has!! in fact it is a commandment, and we all know it. "thou shall not kill" suicide is taking a life and if I may add a life worthy to keep around. I believe you have much to still offer the world, and much still to learn from it,(it is my belief this is why we exist, to tend gods garden, learn the benefits of life , to experience them, and to bring our experiences back to our great whole..(god). your child will learn from what ever you decide to teach. And you have much left to teach. and love wow even in pain and misery the love you still have to give to your wife and child. focus on that I know it gets me through every day. yeah my kids argue, they are a pain in the behind!! but thats why they r kids. I am still amazed by the ,their energy , the way they approach new things and the way they soak up new information. ..Its selfish but I know I live to not miss out on their lives. I try to imagine it and well this is where I'm a tad of a mush..If I live to experience this pain, Just so my kids do not have to then I will do it. well my friend (Paul). I want you to also considerate this as you read my response..
My name is Paul as well>> lol... ok silly but as I saw what you wrote then I saw your name, I said god means for me to answer this. so yes I also agree that we are all here for a purpose to serve a larger design.
god gave us a family, god gave us our life , god gave us guidelines to live by, and yes god allowed us to get this beast. I teach my kids that they were born to a mother and father whom both wanted and loved them, but we didn't choose their form, or order, god did, and the trials of life . so we may not know why or how but we do know that we get only what god believes we can face. challenges and all. you were brought to this site to help you through. you pray often for guidance. I live my day by day with one phrase or (poem )always in my mind. read it . believe it. "foot prints".

You are loved , and admired. that is worth it all. but when it gets to hard to deal with alone. come here and find companionship, understanding, and love.
good luck my friend. I hope this has helped you. I look forward to you future postings. and when you feel weak come her for some strength . god speed and god bless