Paul, Sadly this disease robs us of a full life. As another said, Life is about the small things. I was diagnosed in 2000. In 2004 I carefully planned and tried to execute (excuse the pun) my plan for suicide. Much to my dismay I awoke intubated in an ICU two weeks later. The recovery from my botched attempt left me worse off than before. Now, I just have that as another RSD related diagnosis on my health record. I understand getting to the point of no return. I understand the struggles. The effect we have on our family and what friends we have left. BUT. had I been successful, I would have missed my daughters wedding, the birth of my darling (now 4 yr old) grandaughter, and now sharing my daughters second pregnancy. I pray you can find focus away death. Today is a really bad day for me. I'm diverting my attention to avoid further frustration. I now understand the adage "one day at a time" Sometimes "One minute at a time" Look for the small things an avoid the elephant in the room. There's no doubt, this disease sucks but until God calls you home, there is purpose in your being. I will pray for solace.