Jakatak
You have had lots of advice from others, all I can offer is that I have been in a dark place thinking that I would never enjoy life, or have a life. I became my pain and could not think of anything else except the pain. I do not know what my diagnosis will be, I am waiting to have a brain and spine MRI so I am facing so fears and uncertainty. I am taking an anti depressant which I am sure is helping me trough this difficult time. LizaJane has made a good suggestion about Cymbalta, which may also help with the pain as well as helping to deal with your feelings of finding the pain so hard to take 24/7. I wish you well and do hope that you will start to feel better about life, David is right that we all only have one life to live and that we have choices. I hope that you will find someway to get better pain relief and will feel more positive about things.
Lupin